ALRIGHT YA’LL I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU, YOU INTERESTED IN THIS REEMERGENCE OF THE VINYL FORMAT OF MUSIC, WELL THEN I GOT THE SERVICE FOR YOU
THIS IS VINYL ME PLEASE, THEY WILL FOR 17 DOLLARS A MONTH AND THAT’S INCLUDING SHIPPING AND TAXES, THESE PEOPLE WILL TEAM UP WITH A BAND AND CREATE AN EXCLUSIVE NEVER BEFORE SEEN VINYL FOR YOU THE CONSUMER AND SEND IT TO YOUR GODDAMN DOORSTEP.
NOW I’VE BEEN MEANING TO GET INTO THE VINYL SCENE FOR A WHILE BUT I’M TOO LAZY TO GO SEARCH FOR THEM MYSELF, SO WHAT BETTER WAY TO GET INTO IT THEN TO LET SOME OTHER PERSON FIND A BAND, MAKE A VINYL, AND SEND IT TO MY DOORSTEP, AND SINCE I’M PAYING FOR IT MIGHT AS WELL TELL YA’LL OTHER INTERESTED PEEPS WHATS UP AND IF THIS SERVICE IS WORTH IT.
SO THIS MONTH WE GOT THE ALBUM Z, BY MY MORNING JACKET, NOW LETS OPEN IT UP AND SEE IF IT’S WORTH THE 17 DOLLARS.
SO HERE’S A SPREAD OF ALL THE THINGS IN THE BOX, NOW LETS TAKE A CLOSER LOOK.
SO FIRST AND DEFINITIVELY LEAST IS WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY AN ADVERTISEMENT OF THEIR MEMBER ONLY STORE, THAT ONLY MEMBERS WHO ARE MOST LIKELY ALREADY AWARE OF IT’S EXISTENCE ARE GOING TO SEE, THOUGH IT DOES HAVE A BUNCH OF BANDS WHO ARE GOING TO HAVE NEW VINYLS MADE IN THE NEXT MONTH, WHICH IS... NICE? I DON’T KNOW, I’M PRETTY MUCH COMPLETELY POPCULTURELY RETARDED, I HAVE NO IDEA WHO ANY OF THESE PEOPLE ARE, BUT YEAH YOU LIKE ANY OF THESE BANDS? YOU CAN ADD THESE TO YOUR ORDER AND THEY WILL SHIP IT WITH YOUR MONTHLY ORDER, MINE OF WHICH ARRIVED ON THE 17TH THOUGH YOUR ARRIVAL TIMES MAY VARY.
NEXT AND SECOND TO LEAST IS THIS THING WHICH WAS WRAPPED AROUND THE VINYL ITSELF, NOW THIS THING IS THAT THING ALL SUBSCRIPTION BOXES HAVE WHICH EXPLAINS WHAT THE THINGS INSIDE THE BOX ARE, OR IN THIS CASE, A SHORT HISTORY OF THE BAND AND ALBUM, AND A RECIPE FOR A COCKTAIL TO ENJOY WITH THE MUSIC, WHICH I WOULD LOVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT EXCEPT I’M NOT LEGAL TO DRINK TILL JANUARY SO I CAN’T HELP YOU THERE.
NOW I KNOW WHAT YOUR SAYING, WAIT A MINUTE, THAT’S JUST THE PICTURE SHOWING ALL THE ITEMS IN THE BOX AGAIN, WELL YOU WOULD BE RIGHT BECAUSE I AM A FUCKING IDIOT I FORGOT TO TAKE A PICTURE OF THE ART PRINT IN THE UPPER RIGHT. THIS THING IS GREAT, ITS A BLACK AND CREAM(?) ART PRINT OF THE COVER ART AND IT IS GREAT. FIRST ITS ACTUAL THICK ART PRINT PAPER, NOT FLIMSY SHIT THAT MOST ART PRINTS OF THIS TYPE USUALLY ARE. HONESTLY I DIDN’T KNOW THAT THIS CAME WITH A ART PRINT SO IT WAS A PLEASANT SURPRISE ONCE I GOT MY HANDS ON IT. PLUS I LOVE WEIRD SURREALIST SHIT SO DOUBLE WIN.
SO LAST AND I SO HELP THE PEOPLE AT VINYL ME PLEASE IF IT’S LEAST FOR MY FURY KNOWS NO END IS THE VINYL ITSELF. FIRST OF ALL IS THE CASE, ON THE OUTSIDE WE HAVE AFOREMENTIONED SURREALIST BULLSHIT WHILE ON THE OTHER SIDE WE GOT CRICKETS AS SEEN ON THREE WHOLE LSD’S PLUS THE NOT NECESSARY BUT APPRECIATED TRACK LIST.
NOW WE GOT SOME MORE ART, GREAT, FANTASTIC, NOT MUCH TO SEE, LIKE OUTSIDE ART MORE.
SO NOW WE ARE ON THE VINYLS THEMSELVES, AND LET ME TELL YOU I FUCKING LOVE THE WAY THESE LOOK. THE PANDA’S, THE SPLATTER, THE TRANSPARENCY, FUCK ME THESE LOOK GREAT.
AND LOOKS EVEN BETTER ON MY VINYL PLAYER.
FINAL VERDICT: FUCKING EXCELLENT, GREAT DEAL, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT VINYLS ACTUALLY GO FOR BUT I FELL LIKE I GOT DOUBLE MY MONEYS WORTH, GET THIS SHIT HERE
No comments:
Post a Comment